What Innocence does to the Heart
by JamesLuver
Summary: Sometimes when there's nothing to live for anymore the only thing that you can do is say goodbye…forever.


**A/N:** This is my first fanfic, so be nice! Just joking, I'd like criticism so I can improve. I can't think of anything else to say apart from "please review"! Please? :)

**Disclaimer:** Don't own _Pokémon_, unfortunately. If I did, then Jessie and James would certainly be together!

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_What Innocence does to the Heart_

Tonight is a special night. Tonight is the night I leave. When you wake up tomorrow I will no longer be there. You know it's been coming for a long time now, anyway – you have to congratulate me for staying as long as I have after knowing we've been heading for the off-ramp.

Someday I hope you will find it in your heart to forgive me. Forgive me for leaving you like this. But I have to go, for both of our sakes.

I stand up. The fire is beginning to splutter, fading away. Dying, just like our souls. Our friend has already left the vicinity, left us, declaring to make a future for himself. And where are we? Stuck in time, our miserable little lives entwined with the Devil himself.

I, too, have to make my future. I have nothing left here.

_You have me_, you may argue, but we both know that that's not true. We have been so wrapped up in our own despair and desires that we no longer think of each other's' feelings.

I turn to gaze back. You look so innocent in your sleep. So peaceful. I feel myself beginning to lose faith in my escapade. But it's not right. I would be causing both of us unnecessary heartache if I linger here.

I tear my eyes away from your face before I can change my mind about this completely.

As I near the edge of the forest, however, you catch up to me. All of this time you must have been awake. It figures that I'd try to leave when you're no longer in the world of repose. Behind you, I can vaguely see the fire. The light it sheds is not enough to muscle its way out here.

Your face, though in the cloak of night, is serious. I can't see…but I know. I'll always know what you feel.

"Don't go," you whisper.

You know that it is wrong for me to be with you, but you can't let go. You want us to go back to how it was before.

Unfortunately, that will never happen.

We've been together for so long now, haven't we? And during that time I've watched you grow from a child to a man. You were once an annoying whiner. Now what are you?

A handsome young man, afraid of nothing.

But you are afraid to see me leave.

"Don't go," you repeat, almost begging me to return to the safety of the campsite.

Something we both know will never happen.

You are you, handsome and intrepid, although many say that your lack of fear is down to stupidity.

And me?

Well, I'm just myself. I'm the pretty one. Astoundingly pretty, you say. Astoundingly pretty, yet never noticed by men.

You find my hand in the darkness. Your fingers are so soft, so gentle…

"Please stay," now you really _are_ begging, your eyes filling with crystal tears.

Your eyes. I've always sought comfort in your eyes. So deep, so caring.

Now they hold nothing but broken memories. Memories I would prefer to forget.

"You know I can't do that," I chide you softly.

You slide your hands down my arms to my waist and pull me completely to you.

Against my better judgement, I link my arms around your neck.

It will hurt me to go. It will hurt both of us. But I can't stay with you. How can something as fragile as love ever flourish in such a callous place? It will be better if we don't experience things such as love. It will be better to die alone. In this place, it is inevitable that our stone hearts will break.

"Why can't you stay?" you murmur.

"You know why," I mumble.

Our faces are mere inches apart. We're so close that I can feel your warm breath on my neck.

And then you kiss me. Long and hard. Deeply and passionately.

I can't help it. I kiss you back. Your tongue waltzes with mine, and you push me against a nearby tree…

But it's wrong. We shouldn't be doing this. I was meant to be leaving, wasn't I? With all of my remaining will power, I push you away.

"Please… don't," I breathe.

I know that you know that you have no chance of changing my mind. It is good that I have determination when I need it. Even if it has deserted me for the last few years.  
We want each other, but we can never truly have each other. So now it is time for me to leave you.

For good.

"I love you," you whisper, so quietly that I barely catch your words.

My breath snags in my throat.

"I – I love you too," I say. And I mean it. Truly.

But now it is really the time for us to depart.

One last kiss from me. One last hug, and I step away from you.

We both know that we will never see each other again.

I trudge very slowly down the dirt trail, then spin around to catch sight of you once more. Your hair blows in your face, hiding the tears that you are evidently shedding. You don't understand. Your beautiful, innocent face twists in distress. Your naive features are resigned to our fate. A fate that involves us being apart.

One more glance. One more. Tears blur my own vision.

And…

The tiny spark of flame, which has been fighting feebly, slowly, painfully, dies.


End file.
